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Showing posts from April, 2025

Cliterally Aware: Finding the Whole Clitoris and Understanding Indirect Pleasure

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Do you know where your clitoris is?   When I say clitoris, I mean the whole thing. I hope by the end of this article you can give an ecstatic yes! That yes is a statement of empowerment and pleasure. The more you understand yourself and your erogenous tissue; the more you could explore and understand pleasure. Direct and indirect stimulation to the clitoris can feel good at different times during arousal. Indirect stimulation often is very pleasurable on the journey to orgasm. Let's learn where the rest of the clitoris is and explore some techniques for indirect pleasure. If you cut the clitoris in half it will look like this: Let's appreciate the nerves at the top (see arrows). This is called the doral nerve of the clitoris. It travels to the glans of the clitoris where it has more than 10,000 nerve fibers packed into one small area. This is the reason the glans is so sensitive. The glans could sometimes be too sensitive to touch. Indirect stimulation to the rest of the clitor...

The Myth of Wet and Ready: A Saga That Has Lasted Too Long

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The amount of lubrication in your vagina does not always correlate with your level arousal and that is okay. Scenario: You’re ready to pounce and dive into penetrative play. But one thing is holding you back. Your vagina does not have the amount of moisture it needs. Do you: Get discouraged and feel like your vagina is not doing what its supposed to Don't think twice and grab your lubricant If you didn’t answer “b,” I hope your answer changes today 9 out of 10  women report the use of lubrication made sex feel “more comfortable,” “more pleasurable,” or just “better” (2).   What does that tell us? If you need it, use it and improve the feeling of sex. How does vaginal lubrication work?  The physiology     (If these layers don’t look familiar, read:  Mysteries of the Deep: Demystifying the Vagina and its surroundings  before going forward.) Sodium (Na+) arrives at the lamina propria through blood vessels. Blood vessels maintain a stable amount of blood f...

Undressing Desire: A Personal Experience of Wanting

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What does the word desire mean to you? It turns out desire is complicated. It is not only highly debated but is also highly misunderstood. So if you asked yourself the question: what does the word desire mean to you? You might not have an answer. What do we know? 1. Desire is a spectrum with a normal variation from absent to frequent (1). Desire can vary from day to day, between partners, at different stages of life, and between circumstances. It fluctuates. We need to dispel the myth that lack of desire is in fault of dysfunction of the vagina holder. We need to accept that desire changes.  2. Desire includes factors beyond biology and psychology. It is influenced by the individual environments, the relationship, cultural norms, societal expectations, bodily experience (2,3,4).  Your experience in life will influence your definition of desire. 3. Desire is the experience of wanting to engage in sexual activity that is deeply individualistic (5). Take time to define your perso...